


A Face Tomato-Red

by spidersrorg



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Canon Universe, Cat Boys, Christmas Special, Class Differences, Comedy, Cooking, Fluff, Gen, Holding Hands, Laguz, M/M, One Tweet Fics, Sleepy Cuddles, manliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-15 06:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 7,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10551694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spidersrorg/pseuds/spidersrorg
Summary: A collection of short leoniles fic.





	1. A Hairy Situation

“It’ll put hair on your chest,” Leo’s father had always insisted while while watching as Leo picked at his meat, back when he was a child and his father was a kind man.

 

Leo had never understood  _ why _ he would  _ ever _ want hair on his body. Wouldn’t that be a hassle to wash? And besides, he preferred his vegetables. He liked plants, he used plant magic, plants were comfortable.

 

But then Xander reached manhood. When his brother would return from hunts, he’d have the start of a thick beard. The curls of chest hair poking from some of his low-collared shirts. The whole castle doted upon how  _ manly _ he was, how he was a fine prince, how handsome he was now. 

 

It wouldn’t be an understatement to say that Leo was jealous. He was a fine prince! He put in so much work. But he was here, trumped by his own biology and the genes of his mother. Ignored and unappreciated by those of the castle.

 

Except Niles. Niles, always by his side, with Leo always the focus of his attention. 

 

Niles, with the ruggedly handsome face. A face that Leo didn’t feel any jealousy of when he’d forgotten to shave off the stubble in the morning. And a chest that he definitely was not jealous of the trimmed hair decorating its cleavage. Cleavage he enjoyed looking at.

 

Anyway. He was jealous of Xander.

 

That was why one day, during his early morning grooming, when he noticed a singular blonde curl on his chest, Leo was elated. 

 

There he was.  _ Manly. _

 

Proud of himself, he donned his lounge clothes with the deepest V-neck he owned. He was going to show off. To everyone, of course. But maybe a little more just to Niles.

 

A lot more to Niles. Maybe he could get Niles’ eye on him. And maybe his face was warming up at the thought.

 

When he opened the door to leave his chambers, predictably, his retainer was there, slouched against the wall and waiting for orders.

 

“Morning, milord,” Niles greeted, straightening up to be proper before his prince.

 

“Good morning to you, Niles,” Leo replied, taking upon a tone he would hear Niles use, sultry. He leaned his side against the wall casually, letting his shirt fall open a small amount. There it was. The hair.

Surely, he was wooing Niles here. 

 

Of course he was! Niles was eyeing him now. His eye was trailing down his chest, gaze lingering upon his open shirt. He had Niles’ interest! Of course!

 

“Milord, you’ve got a little something…” Niles reached out.

 

And plucked the hair.

 

“...Ah.” 

 

The end.

 


	2. Gourmet Cuisine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo gets put on mess hall duty.

“Milord?! Are you alright? I saw smoke--” words poured from Niles’ lips as he flung open the door to the mess kitchen.

 

Inside, Prince Leo was indeed alright. Swearing, kicking dirt onto a frying pan, but alright.

 

The food, however, was not. Whatever sort of dinner the smoking sludge on the dirt floor was supposed to be was not going to be served any time soon.

 

The fit  the prince had gotten himself into had left a red on his cheeks, but once he noticed his retainer there, the color only grew brighter, “Ah, Niles…”

 

Whose idea had it been to put a prince on mess duty…? He had likely never so much as set foot in a kitchen. Whoever had given him the task didn’t think through at all. But Leo wouldn’t have refused it. Wouldn’t have admitted to his inability to do something.

 

Niles couldn’t do much but stare for a while, trying to decide what to do. Anyone else, he would have mocked into the ground, but his lord? He couldn’t bear to embarrass.

He cleared up his throat, “...You’ll need help to finish dinner on time, won’t you, milord?”

 

Leo’s expression gave way to relief at Niles’ words. He straightened up into a posture that was more princely, and nodded, “Your assistance would be appreciated. Thank you, Niles.”

 

Niles stepped around the charred mess on the ground to clean off his hands and tie up his hair. In the corner of his eye, he caught Leo eyeing the back of his neck, but his gaze was gone as soon as he turned around. “So, what is, this,” he asked, toeing at the...thing...on the ground.

 

“It’s... the stew you said you liked the night before,” Leo said, then swallowed and looked away.

 

“...The one Jakob made,” Niles raised an eyebrow. But, why was he making something Niles said he had liked..?

 

Leo’s face dropped, the realization that it was a bad idea only seeping in further, “...Yes.”

 

Niles nodded and looked to the food that hadn’t yet been ruined. The realization that this, too, was a bad idea hit him.

 

Neither of them had ever set foot in a kitchen. Leo never needed to, and Niles never had one.

 

Everyone in the army complained that night about how dinner was a single raw tomato on a plate.

 


	3. Nightly Goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's just fluff.

Their courtship had been brief, if a little awkward. The romance found in maiden’s tales (which, to Niles’ amusement, Leo read in secret) didn’t suit either of them, playing at it was a farce.

 

Things fell easily from there, fell into a better rhythm, not something so incredibly forced. A brush of lips after orders, a touch of hands as something was handed over. 

 

It was almost as if nothing had changed, only a veil lifted.

 

Niles set a mug of tea, an herbal blend meant for sleep, next to his lord at his desk, beside all of the stray papers and stacks of books. It was a maid’s task, not one for him, but some duties he would take up. He owed it to Leo. 

 

“Sleep well, milord.” 

 

He leaned down to receive a kiss goodnight before he left his lord to his studies for the evening. Leo’s hand strayed toward Niles’ at the mug, lacing their fingers together, before he tilted his head up to meet Niles’ lips. 

 

His thumb played over Niles’ knuckles.

 

“Goodnight.”

 

He  had said his goodbye, but Leo did not release his hand. Instead, his gaze had drifted to their hands, his fingers tightening over Niles’. 

 

Niles smiled softly. Perhaps he didn’t wish for him to leave just yet.  


	4. feathersoft

Leo woke cold and to an empty spot beside him.   
  
It made his stomach sink. Had Niles snuck away in the night? Was he ashamed of what they had done?   
  
Leo sat up. He didn't want to lay there and ruminate, to turn over and over in his head what reasons there could be for Niles having left.  But then there was something in corner of his eye.   
  
In the window nook, a pile of blankets. Niles.    
  
Leo climbed out of bed and made his way over. The nook was a wooden bench built against the window, covered in cushions. Leo liked to read there. Niles liked to stargaze.   
  
He crouched down beside Niles' sleeping form. No, his retainer was no longer asleep. The movement had stirred him. Niles had always been a light sleeper. But he remained still.   
  
On his knees, Leo leaned over Niles' form. Tentatively, he settled fingers upon the man's cheek, ghosted them over his skin. A gentle caress.    
  
"You're allowed to sleep in my bed, you know."   
  
Niles rolled over, then, to face Leo properly. He looked sleepy, without much to say. So Leo spoke again.   
  
"You aren't some dog, Niles."   
  
Niles grinned, then chomped his teeth together. "But didn't you have fun training me?"   
  
"Niles..."   
  
Niles' smile faded away at Leo's tone. And at the face Leo was making when he spoke again,   
  
"Do you not want to sleep beside me?"   
  
"Milord! No, it. It isn't that..."   
  
"Then what is it?"   
  
Niles glanced aside for a moment and mumbled.   
  
"Now, what was that?" Leo pursed his lips.   
  
"...It's too soft. The bed."   
  
Leo's brows knitted together. What sort of issue was that? The bed was a luxury that he wanted to share with Niles, to give the man who'd given him so much something in return. Oh. Did Niles feel that he wasn't worth it?   
  
"You deserve a soft bed," Leo said in a gentle voice. He brushed his fingers over Niles' lips. "You deserve every nicety I can give you, that and more."   
  
Niles gave him an odd look, but under Leo's fingers his skin warmed to the touch.   
  
His retainer finally spoke, "It's so soft!" his voice sounded a little irritated-- was it that he was tired? Or was he mad about Leo's affection? "...I can't get to sleep in it! It's like I'm sinking. I'm a fan of getting sucked up, but not into a sack of feathers."   
  
Leo stared at him for a moment, taken aback. His lips curled into a smile. And a laugh escaped him.   
  
A good laugh, one that was hearty and felt sweet. The doubts and worries plaguing him were whisked away.   
  
"That's all?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
Niles' expression had grown soft, the curve of his lip only slight but spoke so much.  Niles' hand wrapped around the one Leo had set upon his cheek, and Niles brought it to his lips. He brushed a kiss over Leo's soft skin, a tenderness he showed no one but his lord.   
  
"I'm not made for the lap of luxury, milord. Unless, that means /your/ lap."   
  
Leo flushed, just a little. The night before... no, he shouldn't think of that, it was too early to get worked up!    
  
There was another warmth stirring in him, though. One that he didn't try to push down. His chest feeling full and the feeling spreading through him.   
  
"Move over."   
  
"Yes, milord."   
  
Leo climbed up onto the seat and wormed his way into the blankets. "I wish to sleep beside you."   
  
Niles wrapped an arm around him, and finally he was warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by that my bed is too soft and i have to sleep on the couch


	5. #fe1twtfic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one contains a few things from when #fe1twtfic was a trend! Featured here is my favorite AU, the laguz AU (or "FE gave me a reason to have Cat Boy Niles" AU). Laguz are an animal-shifting race like the wolfskin/kitsune that are found in FE: Path of Radiance and its sequel.
> 
> Also included are a couple about Elise, and other characters. 
> 
> Each is about 150 characters!

“Here’s your tent, milord, standing tall and firm.”

 

“Then, where would yours be, Niles?”

 

“Why, a tent? On an evening as lovely as this? No, I’ll be laying myself bare before the stars tonight.”

 

Leo rolled his eyes. “Don’t let your rear end freeze off.”

 

\--

 

Niles wiped his mouth.   
  
"Your skivvies are inside-out, milord."

 

\--

 

"Haha, Leo sits like a girl!"   
"NO, I DO NOT, ELISE!"   
His legs were crossed for a reason-- at the table, niles had a way of licking sauce off his fingers.

 

\--

 

Niles kept dropping his chopsticks.   
"Niles, you do it like this--"   
"MILORD. I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A FORK."

 

\--

 

Leo didn't have the ring, but he had the opportunity.   
He took Niles' hand and a vine crawled around his finger.

 

\--

 

Once, Elise asked Effie to toss her into the lake.   
When she splashed right out into the fucking middle, the princess cheered.   
Effie stared in horror.

 

Somehow, Effie swam to the middle of a lake in a full suit of armor.

 

\--

 

Sometimes, Elise would ask Effie to deadlift her.   
When Elise clapped and cheered, a blush spread over Effie's cheeks.

 

\--

 

Often, Xander would return to Siegkat in bows and dresses.   
Why the cat still wandered near Elise's room, he couldn't know.

 

\--

 

Leo didn't know laguz could hiss.   
He made a mental note not to catch Niles in a spray of water ever again.

 

\--

 

Sometimes, Niles' claws came out.   
It was awkward when Leo had to go to the doctor with cat scratch fever.

 

\--

 

Why did Niles sit in the empty bathtub!!!!   
Why!!!!   
And then kitten Nina preferred the sink.

 

\--

 

Corrin had the clear marks of a dragon laguz. When Azura stood beside them, no one could tell she was Branded.

 

\--

 

Leo didn't mean to close Niles' tail in the door!   
Still, he got a scratch across his face and the cold shoulder the whole evening.

 

\--

 

leo also likes how firm his hands can be when they hold him   
it's gentle, but comforting, a reminder that niles won't let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I haven't updated this in months when I have a million leoniles drabbles in my documents  
> so here's a short update with some TINY things I personally love and are 100000% self indulgent.
> 
> catch me on twitter for leoniles nonsense @ pigeonghoul !


	6. Tattoo Artist / Flower Shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the classic au

“Elise, we don’t  _ have _ to do this.”

 

“But it’s polite! Stop being an antisocial  _ nerd _ , Leo.”

 

Why you would bake a pie and bring it to the store yours had opened up next to, Leo did not know. But it was, in Elise’s opinion, completely necessary. 

 

“Hiiiiii!” his sister called as she threw open the door.

 

“Welcome to my fell storefront!” another voice, matching hers in volume, called.

 

Elise seemed to beam at all of the art decorating the walls and the atmosphere of the place. A tattoo shop. Xander would have a heart attack if he knew Leo took her here.

 

Leo, in contrast, was very uncomfortable. 

 

“We’re your new neighbors! The flower shop. We brought you a pie!” Elise was all smiles as the man approached them.

 

“Why, most excellent! The heavens have sent an angel!” 

 

Leo’s eye twitched. 

 

Elise, however, enjoyed this man’s way of talking. They set aside the pie and she and * _ Odin Dark  _ buzzed about the place, him showing her everything she had questions about. Which was, in fact. Everything.

 

“You’re not getting a tattoo, Elise,” Leo felt he had to state it as he hovered in the entryway. Xander would kill him.

 

His sister turned and stuck out her tongue at him, as another voice came into the room.

 

“My, my, who’s limiting artistic expression in here?” A new man came in from the back. Someone who looked like he belonged in a tattoo shop, with an eyepatch and a few scars visible from his swoop-necked shirt. His voice was a sarcastic drawl, “That’s not very polite, you know.”

 

Despite this man’s rough appearance, Leo found himself staring.

 

Odin seemed to perk up at the entrance, “Ah! This is my piercer, the one-eyed snake, Niles!”

 

Niles smirked at the title. Leo didn’t know if Odin had known what he had said. 

 

“Woooow!” Elise clapped her hands together.

 

“Or piercings, Elise,” Leo cut in.

 

“No fun,” Niles hummed, and walked past his sister and Odin, right up to Leo. A  little too close in his personal space. “I think you’d look quite nice with one or two holes.”

 

Leo felt his chest grow tight.  _ Oh no, he’s hot.  _ But he could snap back.

 

“Why? You don’t even have any piercings,” Leo replied, smug with himself.

 

“Oh, honey. None you can see. But if you’d like...”

 

Leo grew bright red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm stuck in this hurricane and bored out of my wits. so here's an update right after i just posted one
> 
> comments will help me not get cabin fever, probably, and are appreciated LOL


	7. MY CABBAGES

Having Leo giddy was a rare thing. But Niles loved it. And knew how to do it.

 

The issue was, in the strange place that Kamui had called the “Astral Realm”, there was scarcely any privacy. Kamui had their own little treehouse, but going there would result in one’s face being...petted. The rest of the camp was stuck with an assortment of tents. While it was no secret what half the army was up to in those tents, Leo staunchly refused.

 

(Niles knew it was because he was embarrassed of how he could get noisy. Cute.) 

 

That was why they had taken to finding hidden places about camp for their frequent midnight rendezvous. 

 

And why they were lying under the stars... In the dirt. Between rows of cabbages. 

 

The cabbage patch wasn’t exactly the most romantic place to shack up in camp, but that never mattered much to Niles. Especially not when he had a-- was that  _ giggling _ ?-- Leo with a lovely rosy afterglow wrapped around him. With that, he supposed Leo didn’t mind either.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meant for leoniles week earlier this year but... the fic never happened, and i was gonna remove this part anyway lol


	8. loosen up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \-- THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT --

The weight of Niles on him was always an exquisite experience.

 

Niles’ shoulders beneath his hands. Hard muscles, taut beneath his skin from years of his practice. Drawing his bow and loosing, hard work. Those arms holding Leo.

 

As Leo dug his nails into Niles’ back, just as Niles liked and just as Leo naturally reacted, a thought came upon him: “You’re tight.”

 

There was breath hot and wet against his neck, vibrations going through him as his lover laughed, a deep tone smothered into his skin.

 

“Why, milord, that’s quite a compliment. But we haven’t quite gotten to that part yet.”

 

Leo pulled away, an act he was loath to do in that moment with Niles feeling so nice pressed against him and holding him against his body and-- No, he had to clarify himself, “Fool, I mean your muscles.” To make his point, he smoothed his hands over Niles’ back, and beneath them Niles tensed.

 

“Only you can make ‘fool’ a sexy name,” Niles all but purred, and leaned in once more, testing all of Leo’s self-control. 

 

He removed his hands from Niles’ back and rubbed them together, preparing a small spell. It was too small to be called even a party trick, but it had proved invaluable on trips to the Ice Tribe: a simple heating of his hands. He settled them back upon Niles’ shoulders.

 

Niles shuddered when Leo spread his palms out over his shoulder blades, “Oho, that’s nice. The warm fingers...” That was an overreaction, Leo knew, but he could tell that it made Niles relax a bit. He seemed to have slumped, to have melted into the touch.

 

“Come, Niles--”

 

“We haven’t gotten to that part either, Lord Leo.”

 

“ _ Niles. _ ”

 

He received a grin at that.

 

“I meant to say,” Leo huffed, “we should get you in a hot bath.”

 

Niles’ grin dropped and, without a beat, he rolled off of Leo.

 

“Niles…” Leo rolled his eyes, “it will help loosen you up.”

 

“If you’d let me know you wanted to loosen me up tonight, I’d have--”

 

“Your muscles, Niles. That can’t be comfortable for you.”

 

Leo didn’t get a response to that, only a dirty look. He sighed, “I’ll make it worth your while.”

 

“Oooh?”

 

“I’ll use the heated fingers.”

 

“ _ Ooooooh _ .”

 

Leo chuckled a little at how quickly Niles’ face changed, and how it brought a smile to him as well. “My tom cat and his hate of water.”


	9. phone drabbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drabbles i found in my phone notes so that were probably written while i was out, or smashed, or something. ENJOY

 

Niles handed Leo the bow and stepped in circles around him.

  
He took a very hands-on approach.

  
Grabbing his hip to shift into a proper stance, straightening up Leo's shoulders. Leo should be fine in that aspect, he had fine posture, he'd be able to use the muscles of his back.

  
"Don't cry to me when your sweet little fingers have blisters, milord," he said with a smirk as he took the hand on the bow, rearranging Leo's fingers on the wood.

  
He stepped behind Leo, pressing their bodies together, guiding their hands to raise the bow.

  
"Notch your arrow," now he had to use words, here he could not show without a hand. 

  
He focused on what Leo was doing likely more than Leo himself, whispering in his ear his instructions.

  
"Curl your fingers over the string," Niles instructed, cheek pressed to Leo's head, "no, not like that, like..."

  
He hummed.

  
"Like they're inside someone," he purred, and patted his hand on Leo's thigh where he had wrapped around him.

  
...Dealing pain was undoubtedly sexual for him. But being with a bow was also intimate.    
This was all intimate.

  
"Draw to your pretty lips and then loose."

 

—

 

"Lord Leo has requested none disturb him."   
"I am the King."   
"And I serve Lord Leo, not you."   
"Heh. Serve my brother well."

 

—

 

Niles did not expect to be smacked by a plant when he approached Leo.   
  
“Ah, apologies, Niles. Sometimes my magic reacts when I'm distressed."   
  
“So like a fear boner."   
  
Leo, red: "...I suppose like that."   
.   
Niles opened his mouth.   
  


“No further discussion about my fear boners, Niles."   
  
"Ohoh, it's enough that you acknowledge your fear boners exist, milord."

 

—

 

"NILES!"   
  
The laguz in question, currently a cat, looked up at Leo from his compromising position. Well, what would have been a compromising position, if he cared.   
  
Niles was just grooming. What was the problem? There were many places that needed grooming, including...   
  
" _ Stop licking your balls! _ "   
  
Niles looked up at his husband, ears pulled to the side, perturbed. He shifted back to a form where he could speak to Leo, stopping to stretch a bit.   
  
"What? It's not like your mouth hasn't been there--"   
  
" _ NILES _ !"

 

—

 

"Weoniwwes!"   
  
Niles stared at baby Nina, and Leo stared too. In shock, in awe. HER FIRST WORDS WERE HER DAD’S NAMES.   
  
"Holy fuck," Niles said and picked her up   
  
Nina grinned at him and let out a triumphant, "fuck!"

 

—

 

"Ugh, they tailored these pants as if I have no muscles at all," Leo groaned as he turned this way and that to view himself in the mirror.   
  
"I do say I quite enjoy the view," Niles said as he watched, attentive.   
  
"Ha, there won't be a view when my legs fall limp from lack of circulation," Leo smirked and stuck a leg out to observe, "I ride horses, I have thighs, you know."   
  
"Thick thighs save lives, milord."   
  
"Was that how you felt when I near smothered you last night?"   
  
"No. Last night, it was my soul that was saved."

  
  


\--

 

Bonus:

 

it was a breezy moonlit evening, ripe like a tomato just for romance 

  
"hey...niles... I'm really gay..."

  
"haha same"

  
but that didn't even need to be pointed out because Leo and Niles were already making out? 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll be back to the chapter fic i started soon- im a lil stuck right where i am even though i have so many later scenes already written out. it's like... i already know what happens so i lost the excitement, i guess?


	10. blood and dusk dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: some body horror, death

Executing Iago had been satisfying.

Brynhildr seemed to have picked up on his bloodlust, how long he’d wanted to kill the man. Magic spurred from anger was always the most powerful. It was also the most dangerous, the easiest way for a man to lose himself. Magic took a toll on the body.

Iago’s body laid upon the ground, his skin as pale as it had been in life. Vines sprouted from the orifices of his face, spilling out of his mouth and up his eyes, crawling down his body -- likely a horrifying sight for anyone that had never seen the extent of Leo’s ability. The mask the man wore had cracked and fallen to the floor, exposing the scarred tissue from wounds imbued by Garon.

Leo regarded him with cold eyes, “Have his skin flayed and drain what of his blood you can.”

The vines retreated as Leo pulled away his hand, and scared soldiers scattered with the orders to remove the body.

The tome Ginnungagap laid just out of reach of its wielder’s blood. Leo leaned to pick it up, then regarded the cover.

“Coward he may have been, but with his power he should make a fine tome,” Leo spoke aloud to no one in particular, his retainers being the only ones in the room.

“Wait-- WHAT?!”

Leo turned to meet eyes with Odin Dark, who seemed frightened and a bit confused. “Is that not custom in your homeland, Odin? Here,” he stepped toward his retainer and handed him Iago’s tome, “This is bound in human skin.”

“WhawhawhawhaWHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Odin then scrambled as if he had been tossed something hot, eventually throwing it onto the floor where it fell into the blood puddle. Some splashed on Leo’s shoes and he sighed. He’d been wanting to keep those clean…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ever heard of anthropodermic bibliopegy? because that's a thing
> 
> here i wanted to touch a little on the instruments of magic in nohr given what we do know, such as how the dusk dragon statue in My Castle will suck up the life of your enemies.
> 
> i have lots of HCs about this; fantasy religion is my fave lol


	11. A Treatise On Laguz Niles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT I WROTE UP A LONG TIME AGO AS A PSA FOR LAGUZ NILES LMAO
> 
> but also, largely an excuse for looking up cat pictures lmfao

**A TREATISE ON LAGUZ NILES**

 

Laguz Niles is a fantastic Niles. Imagine everything possible Niles, except with cat ears. Excellent, correct? Correct. 

 

**What’s a laguz?**

 

Laguz are a unit class and a race of people in FE9&10 (Path of Radiance & Radiant Dawn) (Yeah, the ones with Ike). They function basically the same as Wolfskins and Kitsune in FE14. Laguz are humanoids with animal characteristics, coming in three types that are subsetted into more types: Beasts (cats, tigers, lions, and wolves), Birds (ravens, hawks, herons), and Dragons (they just come in different colors and apparently some colors are stronger than others. Who fucking knows. Fantasy logic.). 

 

Of course what’s important here are the cats. 

  


 

(Pictured: Ranulf, a cat. Look at him doing cat things.)

 

Their counterparts are just regular humans, but in fantasy world Human is a bad word so we call them beorc. Beorc and laguz have their own countries, but laguz are discriminated against and, in some places, stolen and forced into slavery. Beorc are dickbags. 

 

Beast laguz have ears, tails, and colorful markings on their skin. Bird laguz have wings. Dragon laguz are the least conspicuous and just have some markings and pointed ears.

(Pictured: Cat, raven, dragon. Cat is still the most important.)

**So Niles, right?**

 

You saw up there Ranulf doing cat things? Yeah, cat laguz do cat things. 

 

Consider Niles doing cat things.

 

Consider it.

  
Need help? I will help you.

 

Consider Niles: 

  * Being this cat. 
  * 


 

  * ****Literally Purring****



 

  * Emoting with ears and tail. With a sly kitty grin? Irritated swishy tail? 
  * Having an ear with a ragged tip because of fights.
  * Getting startled and poofing up his tail.
  * Liking his ears getting scritches?
  * Does he have a fluffy tail or a sleek tail? Both are excellent.
  * Staring someone dead in the eye as he knocks over their glass.



**Also, one-eyed cats are beautiful.**

(Pictured: A beautiful white one-eyed cat. Very beautiful and pure. Deserves a treat, 10/10.)

**Spice Alert:** Completely scientifically unsound, but listen: it’s spicy. Cats can go into heat. Males don’t, of course, but we’re talking about fantastical cat people. Consider Niles going into heat? It’s spicy. 

 

Very very spicy.

 

**Also super fucking important: Nina**

 

Listen. Who doesn’t want to see Nina as a kitten. It’s an excuse to point at a kitten and go, “Imagine Nina doing this”.

 

It would make tremendous sense for laguz to just stay in beast form in infanthood because human babies are completely incapable, so it’s just evolutionarily sound. Human babies come out early compared to nature. And kittens have claws and shit and can walk around. 

 

So, we can have all this cute dad stuff with Niles, but without the gross human babies? Fuck yeah. 

 

So consider, Nina:

(Pictured: The grumpy kitten face. A face that Nina would make often. And here’s a video of a newborn kitten trying to hiss:  [ https://youtu.be/CFttPG8gbaM ](https://youtu.be/CFttPG8gbaM) )

(Pictured: Kittens being bottle fed. In the case of single dad Niles, Nina would need to be bottle fed. Need a pick-me-up? Do yourself a favor and search videos of kittens being fed. It’s adorable.)

(Pictured: Kitten being cuddled by its mama. Nina would get cuddled by Niles because cats are cuddly. It’s a fact.)

 

Yeah. I know, this is so great.

 

The drawback though is that Nina can’t be born from a human because then she’s a Branded (a big no-no. Branded are people that are half laguz/beorc, ostracized from both communities, but especially by laguz. If a laguz has a branded child, then they lose their laguz abilities to shift or do other animal things). 

But there’s nothing in the game about laguz interbreeding so... I guess if you shipped Niles and Corrin you could have a kitten Nina and a tiny lizard Kanna. It works. But single dad Niles has a fantastic appeal on its own. 

 

***THE* Laguz AU**

 

Okay, so, *THE* laguz AU begins with @5AMPancakes doing a shindan and getting “your furry daddy is a cat who is a janitor”. And I say, “single dad laguz Niles”. It was the beginning of something wonderful. 

 

Modern AU, but with laguz, of course. Laguz are still not in a good position in society. “Declawing” is a thing for beast laguz, but has been cut back in recent years (Niles refuses), “clipping wings” is a thing for birds… not a good time. 

 

**The players:**

  * Niles is a janitor at a university.
  * Nina was originally a toddler who was a part of the university’s early child psyche program so Niles was nearby, and also he got paid for her daycare? But then later we sort of aged her down because then she is a BABY KITTEN.
  * Leo is a professor at the university. He’s the Hell Professor, absolutely terrible. He’s primarily a researcher but has to teach classes. So he’s not happy about that.
  * Also Odin is there, he’s another professor. (Doctor Dark, amazing.) He writes children’s books that are kind of weird because he makes up laguz species in them? (The fuck is a centaur?)



**The story:**

  * Niles and Leo see each other in the mail room a lot, and they always have a bit of banter. And flirting. Lots of flirting.
  * Niles starts dropping notes in Leo’s box
  * Leo isn’t sure who this secret admirer is, or if it’s a joke. When he checks his mail he brings up the mystery with Niles? The writing is so bad, it has to be a joke?
  * After a long time of watching Leo get caught up in his own head about the letters, Niles one day just. Slips one in Leo’s pocket as he’s leaving, pats his ass, and sends him on his way. With a comment about his writing. (Niles didn’t finish school.)
  * Leo is WHAT!!! 
  * And that’s how they get together
  * Then there’s lots of domestic bliss? Hell yeah?
  * (Very domestic. They get married. They raise a kitten.)
  * When they’re married, though… Niles decides… he’s going to make Leo proud…
  * HE’S GONNA GO TO COLLEGE. (Probably not possible in real life, but, fuck that. So he talks to a lot of offices and then is in college, yep. Since Leo works at the university he gets free tuition too so?)
  * He keeps it a secret from Leo. (eyes emoji). 
  * But he’s studying astronomy and he’s working his ass off. Science and math he’s fine with! His other classes, though…
  * He has Nina help him with papers. A four year old. 
  * Then Leo finds out! He’s so shocked and like whoah?! Because Niles gets As? Leo doesn’t even give out As in his classes!
  * ...The next semester, Niles takes Leo’s class…
  * There’s hijinks there, as you can imagine.



**Prime Moments:**

  * Leo freaking out about bottle feeding baby Nina. What if he messes up!!! This small delicate kitten!
  * Niles doesn’t even know Leo’s rich until they get engaged and Leo whispers in his ear “Niles von Nohr” because he’s a sap-- and Niles goes WHAT. And immediately gets Nina and Leo and drags them to a sushi bar and orders a sushi boat. They’re cats. They love fish. He and Nina have sore tummies after.
  * At the Nohr siblings’ Christmas party, a four-year-old Nina assumes everyone is drinking cream and is withholding it from her? So when Niles sets down his drink, she grabs his eggnog and chugs it. Niles has quite the tolerance, so the eggnog is fairly saturated… and they end up with a drunk toddler. A drunk kitten tries to bat at the strings on Camilla’s dress… and Camilla loses her clothes. She thinks it’s hilarious, but everyone who has ever been smushed into her boobs is crying inside. (That’s everyone at the party.)
  * Niles and Nina eat not-sushi raw fish sometimes (because they can do that since they’re cats). Leo tries once. It doesn’t end well.
  * Leo and Niles are young and wild and free and like to go to clubs. Hijinks ensue. Including, Leo smells a lot like Niles because a) beorc don’t have strong scents to begin with and b) they’re all over each other all of the time. So other laguz…think Leo’s whipped. Also including, Niles getting put in a cone of shame because he gets in a bar fight over someone harassing Leo. 
  * They party all night once and have to go to school. Leo’s still drunk when he’s trying to teach class. He sits in Niles’ lap and tries to go to sleep mid-lecture.
  * Since students see Leo as cold and soulless, when anything about his personal life comes up they pry like hell. His personal life is something of an oddity… they gossip about it… One time, Niles shows up at the end of Leo’s last lecture with Nina so that they can leave, and one student asks how Nina _happened._ Niles starts giving them The Talk. Leo covers Nina’s fuzzy little ears.
  * Niles can turn into a cat. A 200 pound cat insisting on curling up on Leo’s lap. (And then Nina wants to join, too.)
  * He also shifts when he’s moping. A giant moping cat. 
  * Spice Alert: So Niles doesn’t use heat suppressants. (why would he) (also we’re gonna say heat just lasts until he gets laid) So Leo has to help him through that. (which he is very happy about) Leo has a little scar on his shoulder from where Niles bites when he’s in heat, but… (he’s into it). Also, heat drop is a thing, like sub drop. So he needs Extra Love and Care. (Very important.)
  * Also here’s Niles’ biology: Normal human tongue and dick. Shifted he has a rough tongue and. Cat dick. So no full furry here, folks. Nope. (before they sleep together the first time, Leo is scared Niles is going to have a Weird Dick. Bad Dragon still exists in this world and they make Laguz Dildos and the beast laguz ones ones are barbed WHAT IF THAT’S HOW THEY REALLY ARE--) 
  * Anyway forward any questions to me because I can’t come up with anything more




	12. a leoniles christmas miracle

It was Christmas Eve, and looking up at the stars through his window, poor lonely Leo had open his station for softcore porn: tumblr dot com. But there was luck for him tonight. His favorite blog had updated.

 

The blogger who called himself Zero had updated. Sexy Santa photos graced his dashboard. Leo was unsure how he felt about the stubble gracing the incredibly attractive man’s face, but he certainly appreciated the open Santa jacket displaying the toned muscles of his chest and stomach.

 

Leo went to click the reblog button, but upon the many other notes on the photos from other lonely and thirsty bloggers that night, Leo decided it was time to be Hip and do a meme.

 

As he clicked reblog, he added the comment:

 

 

 

Then, he settled down to go to bed with his phone. The photos open to... Admire, of course.

 

He fell asleep sooner or later. But when the clock hit past midnight, he awoke. A noise? Or perhaps his body had become attuned to his need to hydrate in order to keep his complexion bright and clear. He rose from his bed and trudged off to go get a glass of water.

 

But upon reaching the hallway, he stopped in his tracks.

 

There was a man standing there, dressed as Santa? A sack and all?    
  


Leo narrowed his eyes. Sure, it was dark. But even from behind the man’s stature did not match Xander’s, nor his father’s-- Not that Garon would ever do such a thing.

 

Now Leo, bright as he was, did not have what one would call street smarts. There was a stranger in his house in the middle of the night. He did not stop to consider that this man may be armed and dangerous.

 

“Excuse me,” Leo spoke.

 

The figure turned around with a quiet, “Fuck.”

 

Then, Leo felt as if he was dreaming. There, in the same very sexy Santa outfit, stood the blogger named Zero.

 

And Leo was speechless.

 

“Well, I’ll be, leaving now,” Zero said, edging toward the window, hoisting up his bag. That Santa outfit… perhaps the thief had figured that no neighbors would be suspicious of someone playing Santa on Christmas. A parent playing for the children, perhaps. 

 

“If you leave with that, I’m calling the police,” Leo told him. Really, he should call the police, but? Maybe he was a little more than thirsty for hydration.

 

That was when Elise came trudging from her room, rubbing her eyes with the sleeves of her night dress. She looked at Zero, then at Leo, and whined in sleepiness, “Leo, who’s this?”

 

“...This is my friend.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Uh.”

 

“Niles,” his now-guest replied.

 

“Niles. He’s visiting,” Leo tried to rectify. Deep down, despite the precarious situation, he was a tad warmed up. This hot man he had... Admired, many a time, just, here. And now he knew his real name. He felt special.

 

“For Christmas!?” Elise brightened up, “Yay! Guests!”

 

Niles’ eye widened, and he looked to Leo, “Uh, yeah.”

 

Elise looked at the bag Niles was carrying, “Okay, but put your presents under the tree in the morning. You’ll scare away Santa if you go down there now.” The bag was clearly not presents. Elise, however, did not connect that Niles had been robbing them. He was Leo’s friend after all.

 

“Elise, you’re sixteen,” Leo said, exasperated.

 

“And that’s why Santa doesn’t bring you presents,” she shot back, then blew a raspberry, and returned to her room in a huff.

 

Leo looked back at Niles, “Put all of that back and you can stay for Christmas.” The man probably needed it if he was robbing their house? 

 

“Uh. Yeah, sure.”

 

And so, Leo’s Christmas wish came true, and he got the hot boy he wanted.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this last christmas but MERRY CHRISTMAS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	13. for victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a drabble request for something with trans leo! an actual drabble because it's 100 words. im wow

"Niles, stop with that...victory pose."  
  
"Hm? What victory pose?"  
  
"When you succeed in the training arena. That gesture you make."  
  
"I'm afraid I've no idea of what you speak, milord."  
  
"Ugh," Leo glanced aside and brought fingers to his lips, spread them to a vee. " _THIS_ , Niles."  
  
"This?" Niles mirrored him, smirked, "It's but a taunt, milord."  
  
"It's heinously lewd."  
  
"Apologies, milord. I did not know a dirty joke could fluster you so. Why, you're so red--"  
  
" _Niles_."  
  
"Ohoho. I see. I've given milord some interesting thoughts, have I."  
  
"Perhaps I have, Niles. Will you be following up?"  
  
It was Niles' turn to be flustered.


	14. niles: mega-papa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the introduction to a dropped fic. More info about it at the end!

Not a soul in Nohr would have thought that the former outlaw named Niles would ever become a respected man.

 

Not a soul, least of all himself.

 

That he became the most respected man in the castle, above even the king he served, was an end that no one would have foreseen.

 

“Prince Forrest,” Niles greeted as he stepped into the boy’s bedroom. His lips cracked into a grin when he saw how the prince was getting ready that morning.

 

The boy’s hair was in curlers and had Niles’ own daughter wrangled into the seat before his vanity. Little Ophelia sat to the side, cheering Forrest on, shouting encouragements for Nina’s makeover.

 

“I see you’ve all remembered that today is dinner with the king?” Niles hummed as he walked over to the set of children.

 

“Ah! Yes, Sir Niles!” Leo’s young son said, his cheeks flushing as he hid the brush he was tormenting Nina’s hair with behind his back, “we’re all very excited.”

 

Niles couldn’t help a chuckle-- not until his daughter spun around in her chair in a huff.

 

“Is that what this is about!” Nina nearly shouted, her lips pursing, “I don’t care about the stupid King! I’m not going!”

 

Then she stood, and all but ran out the door.

 

“Nina!” Niles tried to call after her, but gave up once the door had slammed. He sighed. No talking to that girl got to her. She was the oldest of the three he cared for, but by far the least mature.

 

Poor Forrest’s face had fallen, his expression hurt.

 

Nina had a reason for her distaste for the King. Leo was never around, always locked up in his study. Niles was the man who saw him most, and even that was rare, a few moments a day. And though Leo had his unwavering loyalty, and once even his heart, the man was by no means pleasant to be around. The Leo he had known had been left behind in the war. 

 

Forrest rarely got to see his father. So an occasion such as dinner with the King was a grand one for him. He was preparing his nicest clothes, and it seemed he had asked a lady of the court to borrow a perfume. It was sweet, to see him so excited, but also...very bittersweet.

 

“Do me next!” Ophelia chirped, hopping into the chair Nina had vacated. Despite being the youngest, she was well-attuned to how Forrest was feeling. After hearing stories about her father, the Great Odin Dark: Courage of the Whetstone, Greeter of Victory, et al., she had claimed that she, too, was a chosen one. And as a chosen one, she could feel changes in people’s darkness. There was no denying she was Odin’s child.

 

“A-ah, alright,” Forrest said, his voices cracking a little, and his face red. He turned to start on Ophelia’s hair. He was clearly holding back tears. Something someone in the court had said about boys not crying. Nina had punched the man to prove he’d cry-- and he did-- but apparently the comment had stuck with Forrest.

 

Niles reached to pat Forrest’s head but the boy lurched away. 

 

“Careful with my hair!” he cried. 

 

“Well, I’d come to wake you,” Niles hummed, “but it seems you’re already primed for the day, Prince Forrest, Ophelia. As usual, call me if you are of need.” It was a little odd to be serving a child he was also raising.

 

Niles couldn’t linger here when he had fairly urgent business to tend to. He would need to talk to Nina. Such words before other company would get her in deep trouble. Even if she was child to the King’s most favored servant, the Prince’s main caretaker. 

 

That was why the castle respected him. Firstly that he could pacify the King’s moods, then that he cared for the Prince and his future two retainers. 

 

Nina and Ophelia had decided that for themselves. He didn’t know if Forrest had a say in the matter. The castle, and most of Nohr for that matter, loved Forrest, he was adored almost as much as Princess Elise had been. 

 

And in whispered words, people would speak of how kinder a place the castle would be once Forrest took his father’s place.

 

It wasn’t a secret the distaste people had of Leo. But it was kept quiet, for fear of if Leo took after King Garon in his treatment of tongues run afoul. 

 

Niles had given up reminding people of the man Leo had once been. The man he’d once loved, but would still do anything for.

 

He sighed.

 

-

 

Nina was usually no issue to find when she ran off in a huff. She took after her father a little too much sometimes, and was easily found in the training grounds, firing arrows. She was too young for the real grounds, and instead used the small arena near the gardens that young nobles were taught to fight in. She always complained she could shoot her dulled arrows farther than the length of the arena. (And she did, sometimes having to go fish in the flowers of the garden for stray arrows. Niles told her that was called “being a bad shot”.

 

And, there she was found. Niles lingered at the entrance, letting her fire until she had run out of her quill and needed to walk to collect the arrows. 

 

“Nina,” he then called from the door.

 

She threw her bow onto the ground and let out a groan at the volume of a yell.

 

“Go away! I’m not doing it.”   
  
Then she spit on the ground in Niles’ direction and went back to her arrows.

 

“Well, at this point, I’d hope not; you’re covered in dirt and likely reek from sweat.”   
  


“Good! That’s the company he deserves, stinky dirty people like--”   
  


“Oh, so you’ve changed your mind about coming, my stinky, dirty girl?” Niles tried to hold humor in his voice, but his face was stuck in a scowl. Even without names, it was obvious who she was talking about. He hated lecturing, it made him feel Too Dad-ly, but. This called for one.

 

He took a breath, more of a huff, “You can’t speak like that, Nina. You can spend the evening with your mother instead, but…”   
  
What he was to say shouldn’t be overheard, so he walked closer to Nina and leaned to her level, to her ear, and whispered, “you cannot so brazenly speak ill of the king. King Leo would never do such as his father did. But words like those can have consequences, should the wrong ears catch them. Even to retainer for the Crown Prince.”

 

He pulled away.

 

Nina’s face had gone red and her lip quivered.

 

“You don’t have to go,” he reiterated. 

 

“...No, Forrest wants me to,” she said, her voice wavering. 

 

“...Alright. He’s going to throw you into the bath, you know,” Niles said with a chuckle, trying to make it a little light hearted. He...couldn’t stand to see his daughter cry.

 

Nina stuck her tongue out, her face regaining its usual color a little bit. “I’ll go take a bath with Mama. She only makes me use soap.”

 

“That’s the way to do it; just soap. The King liked his fancy baths, too, keeping me in that room for hours--”   
  


“NO NO NO EEEEEEEEWWWWWW!”

 

Little Nina ran out of the arena.

 

Niles could only laugh.

 

\--

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the premise was that when leo took the throne, he cut off niles, got married for an heir, and then became withdrawn & depressed. niles takes care of nina (conceived before leo&niles were a thing), forrest, and ophelia (conceived before odin left for ylisse & he didnt know!!!!!!!!!!!! :( )
> 
> anyway some shit was gonna go down at the dinner, i think it was nina throwing a tantrum and also forrest calling niles 'papa' by mistake?
> 
> and leo realizes how bad he's gotten and he approaches niles for help to get better.


End file.
